Today marks 9 years since I was first diagnosed with endometrisos.
That seems so weird. I remember most of it like it was just last month,
but other parts seem so distant.
We knew in January
of 2005 that I had a golf ball sized cyst on one of my ovaries. The
doctor had said my body would absorb it in time and it wouldn't be an
issue. Late on the night of February 11th, I began having much more
intense pain than I'd been experiencing the past several weeks. Mom was
in town (I was in college) for the weekend, and we'd just finished
seeing a movie. After about an hour of me sobbing my eyes out, she took
me to the ER. We arrived about 10:00, but I wasn't seen until after
1:00 am. Ugh. The pain was growing worse, and I was just a crying
mess. The OB/GYN on call saw my records about the cyst and figured
something was wrong with it. During emergency surgery, he found it was a
blood cyst, had ruptured, and was gushing blood into my abdominal
cavity. Joy. He also discovered lots and lots of endometriosis, all
developed to a variety of different stages. He didn't feel comfortable
enough to clean out most of it because it was on nerves, ligaments,
inside and outside of my uterus, bladder, colon, ovaries, fallopian
tubes, and ureter. Double joy. At least we had a diagnosis for the
agony of pain that was roaming throughout my body.
Several weeks after that surgery, I wasn't feeling any
better. The daily pain I had consumed everything I did. Because of the
location of the endo growths, my legs would sometimes 'give out' on me
from the pain. Simple tasks like walking to class, driving, and going
up and down stairs were nearly unbearable. The doctor had put me on
birth control pills to try to stop the growth of the endometriosis and
to control the pain. I was also on Tylenol 3, but since I'm allergic to
all codeine based meds, I was also on Benadryl to not get hives. Let's
just say I don't remember much about anything from that semester, and
after that semester, I had to go the rest of the journey pain med free
because I just couldn't handle the hives. We did acupuncture, yoga, and
everything else we could think of to help me cope with the pain.
Mom took me to some specialists in Houston at various Med Center
hospitals. The consensus of all of them was to put me on Lupron, a drug
that would throw my 20 year old body into menopause. The purpose of
that was to 'restart' my system and hopefully trick my white blood cells
into attacking the endouterine lining as it sheds into the abdominal
cavity each month. Most women's bodies do this naturally, but mine
wasn't for whatever reason, hence the massive growth of endometriosis. I
had no peace about trying this drug and refused. Mom was convinced I
was just being stubborn, but something just wasn't right.
We finally found at Texas Women's Hospital a microscopic surgery
specialist whose main focus was endometriosis. He looked at my first
surgery report and said that there was no way Lupron would even stand a
chance of working if there was still endo growing in my body, which we
knew there was. He scheduled another surgery with the goal of lasering
out all of the endo growths. That surgery took over 2 hours. When I
woke up, I felt completely normal. It was amazing! I had no idea how
much living in constant extreme pain had worn me down for 6 months.
He then suggested trying the Lupron to restart my system. Since I
knew the endo was out, I was ok with trying it. The monthly shots into
my hip were unbelievably painful, and often left me with a limp for a
few days. My hip hurts just thinking about it! I don't recommend
menopause for 20 year olds. That was totally an experience I dread
having to relieve in a decade or two. Ugh. I wouldn't have minded it
if the process had worked, but it didn't.
After the Lupron, the doctor wanted me to have an IUD in the hopes
of stopping my period. Let me first say that no woman who hasn't given
birth to children should ever have an IUD. They are made for ladies
who've been 'stretched out a little', and that wasn't me! After 6
months of an IUD and still having periods, I convinced my doctor to stop
this approach. In August of 2006, I went back on birth control pills,
hoping they'd stop my periods. No periods means no endouterine lining
shedding into the abdominal cavity each month which means no endo can
grow. Unfortunately by Christmas I was having to have surgery number 3
to clean out stage 4 endo growths yet again. Bummer.
After that surgery, the doctor upped the hormone level in
the pills. I hated the side effects, but I wanted to be healthy more
than I cared about the hormone levels. I managed to graduate on time
(all through the grace of God alone!) and landed my first teaching job.
My periods hadn't stopped though. And by Christmas of '07, I had my
4th clean out surgery. Ugh.
The doctor upped the hormone level again, and this time we had
success! I still hated the side effects, but I could teach without
being in pain, there was no chance of an endo recurrence since I was all
cleaned out and not having periods, and things were finally looking
up. It had been a long 3 years.
Unfortunately, or, in my mind, I could have cared less,
four laser surgeries left quite a toll on my girly parts. The inside of
my uterus was a battlefield of scar tissue. My ovaries were so scarred
no one was sure I even ovulated anymore. I was blessed that I didn't
have scar tissue pain in my abdominal cavity. All of this left the
doctors saying I'd never have children without IVF. I personally feel
IVF isn't for me because that's too close to playing God in my mind. At
the same time, I have prayers journals since age 12 telling God I only
wanted to adopt someday. I was totally ok with this infertile
diagnosis. I knew God could still do anything He wanted, but I was
quite content adopting someday. Once I found a man who felt the same
way, life was seriously looking up after that 3 year battle!
All of this long story to say, you can imagine the
surprise when we found out we were pregnant this past November. Say
what?!?! Like I said though, God can do anything He wants anytime He
wants, and He obviously needs this little boy come July.
All in all, I'm just thrilled that I've not lost my mind over the
last nine years and that I've been healthy now for 6. God is so good
not to let a relapse occur, and I'm grateful each day!
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