Trust and Obey

My fears and my stubbornness to take the easy road are coming into direct conflict with God's will, and I'm struggling to follow my Daddy God as He leads and desires.

In the past few weeks, I've wanted to throw in the towel and forget I ever thought about us adopting from Zambia.  The process is so hard and complicated because Zambia is so strict about their adoption process.  Trust me, with human trafficking rates as high as ever, this is a good thing, but it's beyond frustrating when I think of a little girl without a family and two people so ready to bring her home.

The easy thing would be to just ignore it all.  We'd move on with our happy little life, enjoying just being the two of us, and eventually adopt from somewhere easier.  Yet, that's not obedience to a plan the Lord, who in the flesh of Christ as a human has faced every temptation and fear, has given us to attempt this adoption of a darling little girl that I love with all my heart.  We may never bring her home, but I know God has something He wants us to learn just from the process of trying.  If I don't obey, then I'm exhibiting to myself and to all the watching world that I don't trust that the God who knows and sees all and takes care of even the flowers and sparrows (Matthew 6:25-26) will also care for Isaac and me and our hearts and the heart and life of a sweet little girl.  And since I do believe all of that to be true, then I have to keep praying against the doubts and frustrations of Satan and obey, even when it's hard and I don't want to.  


Besides, when I think of that sweet darling pretending to cook with the nannies, riding her bike, and enjoying the shade of the big orange flower tree (can't remember it's name, but it's beautiful) as the winter days are coming to an end in Zambia and heat is returning, I know fighting for her to have a family will always be worth it-always.

We've been praying for someone to come alongside us and help us through this process, and we finally heard from a family who has recently adopted from Zambia, so I'm hoping this is the start to getting answers to so many of our 'How do we...' questions.  Thank You, Jesus!