Goodbye, Bikini!

After spending half my life searching for the perfect bikini and wishing my body look just a bit different in certain places, I finally realized what a horrid waste of time it all was. Well, I guess I knew, but the conviction came in strong last night.

I'm working through Beth Moore's It's Tough Being a Woman study on Esther right now with a group of wonderfully lovely ladies from church. Last night's video talked a lot about 'mean girls'. Beth brought up one type of 'mean girl', those that flaunt what they have to get others to look at them, even if the 'others' includes your husband! Holy cow, light bulb! I don't want any man but MY man looking at things that belong to him alone, and in MY opinion (which means no one has to agree with me), a bikini shows things that should only belong to my husband. What the heck was I thinking?!?! Now, listen closely, Beth never said a word about swimsuits. Bikinis just happened to be what was placed in my mind by the Holy Spirit as Beth was talking. I'm not big into low cut tops or short bottoms, so while I always wonder what a girl is trying to prove by wearing those things (or is it just insecurities?), I don't own them.

The sun is my bestest friend, especially in the warm months, but I can be cute and darling (thank you, Beth, for those terms!) in a one piece or tankini just as easily as a bikini. We grew up in the water, so I never thought much about modesty as far as swimsuits were concerned. We just threw one on in the morning and we were dressed for the day (no joke...Mom kept us at the pool all day so we'd sleep at night!). But now, as an adult, I don't want people looking at my body. I want them to see my heart, not my clothes. Perhaps this is why I've never cared much for fashion and would much prefer to be in running shorts and a tshirt or jeans and a sweatshirt than skirts, dresses, and 'cutesy' clothes.

In all honesty, my two pieces will probably stick around for backyard sun bathing, but no more public appearances. The thought of others looking is enough to make my stomach churn!