Butterflies

Most people know that in February of 2005, I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and spent the next 3 1/2 years fighting my body and medical odds to be healed. Much of those 3 1/2 years was spent in excruciating pain that left me bed ridden. While I could write an entire book on God's goodness to still get me through college on time, tonight's post is about God's presence.

I had a lot of time during those 3 1/2 years to be by myself, but I never once doubted that I was spiritually by myself. I prayed a lot, and had some amazing times alone with our sweet Daddy God.

A few weeks after my first surgery, my friend and roommate Kim went to Haiti on a mission trip. She brought me back a beautiful, hand-painted rought iron butterfly. Within days, I started seeing butterflies every time I went outside. At first I thought it was coincidence, but the more I talked to the Lord, the more I knew He was sending me daily reminders that He was with me through a very dark valley. I learned to keep my eyes open. I saw butterflies in the rain, in the freezing cold, and on super blazing hot days. Sometimes the butterflies would flutter past my car when I was stopped at a stop sign. Many days I saw them in my backyard when I was out with Bailey or in the park on the days I was well enough to go there with Bailey. The butterflies represented to me that Christ had died so that we could have a new life, free of the bonds of sin, if we believe in Him, but that that new life wouldn't always be free of pain. As I've learned, joyfully enduring that pain brings a fullness to life that otherwise couldn't be possible.In the 3 1/2 years I was ill, I honestly don't remember a day without a butterfly gracing me with its presence. God was with me, and He sent me butterflies to remind me that my illness was His will for me, and that He loved me. It's been a little over a year and a half since I have been healed of endometriosis. I don't get butterflies from heaven every day now, but I still get them on a regular basis. If nothing else, while keeping my eyes open for my next butterfly encounter, I have learned to see God at work in our world in ways I probably would have missed had I never gotten ill. Regardless, I learned that my God is always here, and I never doubt that for even a moment.

As a reminder to me that God is continually present and at work in my life and in my marriage, I have placed butterflies on the flower girl baskets and in each bridesmaid bouquet. And, yes, I have a big butterfly on my bouquet as well. Isaac knows how much butterflies thrill me, and loved the idea of adding the sequined butterflies I found into our wedding. May he and I always be reminded of God's presence, and continue to live to glorify Him in all we do.