Honest Confessions: Acceptance

Back in the Spring, I poured out my heart.  I promised a follow up, and here it is, a bit delayed, but that post had to have follow up, friends!

So it's now no secret that I wasn't at first pleased about how God had decided to grow our little family.  However, I had two choices: I could fight God and be angry and bitter, or I could let go of my plans and trust that God always knows what He's doing.  I wasn't angry at my baby, but I was perturbed that my plans were being changed.  So, so stupid of me! 

I'd like to say that I was able to simply relax and fall into God's arms as He led us.  Yet, is it ever that easy?  My Maker knows I'm a hard case, but He never stopped loving me.  He pursued my heart over and over again over a period of weeks.  A handful of my closest friends spoke God's word to me, pouring truth into my heart.  Their gentleness and their words served as a balm to my smarting pride and stinging soul as I learned to truly turn my back on myself and walk where God leads. 

Then, there were the books I read.  December lent itself to reading several books (including the the book of Luke) about three of my favorite Bible heroes: Mary, Elizabeth, and Anna.  I could write posts on each of them and all that each one taught me.  The bottom line is that all three of them had life circumstances that were out of their control and worthy of much fear and uncertainty.  Not once though do we see them falter in their faith or their determination to accept all that God had in store for them.  And their current circumstances, no matter how unpleasant or comfortable, were used by the glory of God to reveal Himself on earth.  Isn't that how each one of our situations is when placed in God's hands?  Good or bad, He uses it all for His glory.  That's why we're on the planet. 

Last, there was the music.  Oh, sweet music.  The Lord has used song to speak to me for as long as I can remember.  Steven Curtis Chapman seems to be an indirect messenger in his lyrics more often than he'd probably care to know.  His album Glorious Unfolding was released shortly before we became pregnant, and the truths of the lyrics on that album struck me again and again.  See, one of the biggest hurdles to me was trusting that God wasn't through using me now that a baby would be in our lives.  We are so passionate about our work in Zambia, and I love teaching.  I was afraid all of that would go 'poof' and be gone.  How wrong I was!  There were two songs on the album that resonated the most.  The first was "Glorious Unfolding"

The second verse took all my doubts about what God was doing each time I heard it:

God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun

Truth!  I say this nearly every week in Sunday School.  I had a choice to believe what I preach or be a hypocrite.  We are here for God's glory alone.  Period.  Of course He isn't done with me!  Isaac and I have said all along our children will learn to serve along side us because it's what families do, even when it's difficult or scary.

The second song was "Finish What's He Started"

Again, I needed to hear that God doesn't leave unfinished work.  He's not like a human that starts a project only to get side tracked by something else.  The Lord Almighty works in each of us until the day we see Him face to face.  All the hiccups and road humps are part of His plan to create a masterpiece out of each of us.  And good golly, a baby was certainly in His master plan, something He had in store for us all along, to be a part of the work He has designed for us to do on Earth.

Sweet ones, let God's truths wash over you today.  That thing you're facing, I know it's scary.  It's hard.  Find someone to walk through it with you, and trust the Lord.  He uses all things for His glory.